Starting Over

Starting over was harder then I ever could have imagined. How do you face the world while you're in unbearable pain? I had been a stay at home mom and out of the work force for 8 years. I suddenly found myself with no income, no car, and no place to call home. I was terrified. A month after my seperation, I got the job. Its been a rough adjustment, but it feels great to earn my own paycheck and not have anyone tell me I'm "spending their money". Everything I have now, I have earned myself. The car came shortly after the job with the help of my family. In November I moved into my own apartment on my own. Its been a tough row to hoe, but vastly rewarding. I'm proud of how far I've come. Sure, finances are horribly tight... but I am independent for the first time in my life. That feeling is priceless.

Rock Bottom

Rock Bottom is a place many people will never see. Those that do see it often feel desolate and hopeless. It's a dark, dreary place for sure but it's also a place filled with knowledge. When you are at Rock Bottom many people will abandon you. You will learn so much about the people you thought were friends and you will meet new people dealing with similar struggles. You will find a way to develop a support system. You will eventually find the strength to shimmy your way back up. It is a very painful and scary yet humbling and at the same time gratifying experience.

If you take all the knowledge and strength you can gather while you're passing through Rock Bottom, you will be better equipped to handle new challenges in life. You will be strong and proud. As JK Rowling said, use Rock Bottom to create your new foundation.

These are the moments...

These are the moments I live for.

My kids are what keep me moving forward. They are my strength. They give me courage. They don't know this, to them I am just Mom. The woman that loves them more than life itself. That's the greatest thing I could ever be.

Today was a rough day. My emotions were a struggle. I was feeling weak and vulnerable.  Sawyer, my sweet little cuddler wanted to make me feel better so he crawled up on the couch with me and we proceeded to take silly pictures, one of our favorite things to do. Who can look at silly pictures, afterall... and not giggle!? Certainly not me or Sawyer.

I hope one day that I am able to show them all these gifts they give to me on a daily basis -gifts that are intangible yet priceless. How will I ever repay them?

By continuing to put one foot in front of the other even on days that seem hopeless and dreary. I do it for them. I do it because a mothers love is powerful enough to move mountains.